install theme
  • (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
  • Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
  • Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
  • Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
  • Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
  • (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

diagondaley:

buttgenie:

i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens

#especially those sarcastic witty teachers who have amazing comebacks but everyone is fucking moronic and not intelligent enough to understand the beauty of what theyre saying and i get so upset